Category: Relationships and Sex

Don’t Skip to Conclusions

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 It’s very important when a couple isn’t getting along or have ended a relationship to respect the other individual. So many times we hear of one or the other wishing ill will or trying to be vindictive which in my opinion gets you no where fast. We have to remember the good in that person and even though it’s hard to let go, move on and wish them success and peace of mind. We all make mistakes, it takes two to tango, but it’s how we handle ourselves in the aftermath that can stave off a lot of useless  pain. The relationships that work are the ones that have a mutual respect for each other at all times. it’s much easier to be level headed and calm. I see couples that last the test of time and adversities and my hat goes off to them because of a mutual trust bond. They are the ones that don’t skip to conclusions and trust their heart. I wish for everyone that what I wish for myself…A healthy, trustworthy unbreakable bond that will not shatter no matter what. As long as you are right in your own thoughts and heart nothing will disturb your soul.

RJP

Bury the past

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 People often wonder if there’s such thing as a perfect relationship. In my humble opinion relationships are all about growth and expanding together if the chemistry is right, over a long period of time! Life is truly a journey and who we spend our time with really reflects the success we internalize in day to day life. It’s important to follow your intuition about people in general as we do take on many traits of the people we associate with most often. Frustration can set in when certain events happen that break trust bonds. Sometimes past events come into play, but the past especially before the relationship spawned into what it is now should be buried and left behind where it belongs. The most successful relationships are those people that live for today and love unconditionally. It takes work, mixed with compassion and understanding! But on top of all that a friendship is what builds trust and long enduring happiness.

RJP

NO NEED FOR GAMES FOLKS

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 A lot of us do it! Mind games are a quick way to a toxic relationship that brings down both individuals and in most cases close friends and family that surround us. There’s an old saying- (TEMPTATION CAN MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ALL OF US.) How true! Speaking from past experiences I know that nothing ever ends up good in these kinds of relationships, yet we become addicted to them. It’s almost like there has to be a winner and a loser when heated battles come to the surface. People get hurt, we say we love you and would do anything for these people we are involved with, but how sad that getting along just isn’t in the cards if both people aren’t vibrating on the same frequency. Love is the eternal elixir, it’s what breaths life and vitality into our being. It’s the source we came from in the first place. But in many cases environment plays a big factor. We put up shields (defence mechanisms) to guard ourselves from being hurt. Maybe it was our parents that showed us these behaviours? Or perhaps we bring in old relationships into the present. My advice- There’s no time to waste on anger, jealousy and criticism. If games are becoming too much to handle and the hurt is coming from the mind games, it’s a good idea to separate yourself no matter how attracted you are to this other individual. If we are humble, take care of ourselves first (self love) Then we have all the tools to love somebody else the same way. Never be in a rush. Your never alone. Focus on that which you desire and deserve. Time is precious, it’s the chequer board of life, your opponent is time and people that we allow into our experience. Think beautiful thoughts of love and stay in the state of gratitude even when it seems like your world is falling apart. I don’t have to remind you that there’s always way worse off. Remember (healthy mind, healthy body, healthy spirit….) 
NAMASTE. RJP

Toxic relationships are unneeded .

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 We’ve either been in one or two of them at one point of our lives. If we’re lucky we’ve learned after the first one, listened to our hearts and emotions and pressed the eject button and got the heck out of dodge. If you’ve been in one, you know the feeling I’m talking about. The initial honeymoon phase of a new relationship feels like bliss. Then something happens that brings the relationship crashing up against the rocks like a ships wreck. In my humble opinion if your living among the laws of nature, your true nature of love and well being, treating others (including yourself) with respect, nobody deserves a relationship that makes them feel sick. That’s why “they” call them toxic, because your body is literally having a chemical rejection from the other person. Being in harmony seems impossible and walking on eggshells becomes commonplace. 
 Time and time again we see people that stay in relationships too long because for whatever reason they think that the other individual will change. Often a two way street, couples becomes addicted to the fighting consisting of hurtful words and emotionally charged actions that would make anyone sick. I know because I’ve been that victim telling my friends that “it’s over!” Hearing the “why do you put up with it?” Anyway you look at it, if we are in a bad feeling relationship we have to look at the part we play. We allow it! We either chose to be treated with love and respect or either stepped on and controlled. When kids are involved it’s even harder to pull the rip cord. It’s even harder to see family and friends that don’t want to say the wrong thing or give advice out of pure love that can be taken the wrong way due to our clouded judgement. 
 You know that when we send negative thought waves through our mind and emotional guidance system, that it actually effects the nervous system? It’s true! The toxicity is actually a chemical releasing into the blood stream that can run our body down and make us sick. Whatever the case friends, we always need to listen to our heart. Arguments happen, it’s normal to have small tiffs then make up and forgive. But when emotionally negative charged words hurt people, there’s never a winner. If we’re going to get the most out of relationships we need to feed positive energy into LOVE and nurturing  fulfilment. Why waste time? I’ve said this to myself countless times again when years ago I was in the middle of the tornado! The never ending tex’s that have hurtful words. Then the circle we loop to no ends of feeling even more depressed because we’re not strong enough to leave that person.
 I’m giving a suggestion. If you don’t feel good, if your relationship becomes unhealthy, GET OUT! Nobody deserves to feel put down and made feel inferior. Life is meant to feel awesome most of the time! Yes we all have our ups and downs, but if your significant other isn’t making you feel great and bringing you into higher states of consciousness then we only have ourselves to blame. If it’s physically abusive then we all know there’s outlets that will help. There’s no time like right now to feel great about yourself. You are worthy, we all are, (if we act in a certain way) to be nourished with the elixir of romance and physical bonding. The physical is only one aspect that we need to look deeper at. It’s only instant gratification that usually isn’t enjoyed when we have resentments towards our lover. So remember, if you feel victimized, your are in the drivers seat and have the power to pull a U-turn. Make the most out of life and remember self love first . To be able to give your heart to another, we need to really come into alignment with our true nature first.
 I Desire more harmony in relationships of all forms for humanity. For the people who have found it, I salute you.
 Much Love , Ryan J Phillips..

Letting go

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 Letting go of a relationship can be very painstaking on the heart and soul and even bring on extreme physical ailments at times. A broken heart isn’t something to be made fun of at all as the heart center takes the majority of the emotional impact of loss. Everyone in this world for the most part just wants to be loved! The sad thing is when people get into relationships they become fearful and many conflicting emotions stir. Defense mechanisms rise up in many cases due in large part to previous toxic relationships. That’s why it’s good not to bring previous habits other than the good ones into a new relationship. Jealousy is a killer!

 People need their space and respect, and when that is tampered with problems arise. The letting go process is a very emotionally charged time. Even when things are clearly not working and so much hurt has been caused people are afraid of being alone or visioning their ex with someone else. The only cure for feeling better is time, and giving your attention to being even better. It’s hard not to get down and lose faith at times. Acceptance is huge, and knowing that no matter what you are never alone can be hard to believe. The universe works in mysterious ways to bring people together at just the right time that is perfect. Always have a deep belief that you are worthy for happiness and the “right one” is sure to fall on your lap. I know many people that are suffering right now due to bad break ups and I sincerely send my heartfelt desire for all of you to feel better.

Sex …

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 Well I was told I should talk more about sex and relationships. So here it goes…It’s a tricky subject at times. We all desire love and sex as it heads the positive emotion list as the driving force in many endeavors.  I’ve been wrapped up in a project that has taken a lot of energy from my being, so sex hasn’t been very prevalent on the list. I’ve had to use my sex energy to transmute into other channels. My opinion is that a healthy relationship should have sex as much as our busy days allow it. When sex is performed with positive intent it can lead individuals to outstanding achievement. But for me I have to have the full package. The days of meaningless sex are long gone for me. I can’t just wake up in the morning with a woman I hardly know and feel good about the act. There obviously has to be an attraction for both individuals. I’m not saying one night stands are bad, many amazing relationships have spawned on the ol “one nighters”. But getting to know your partner on a deeper level in my mind makes sex that much better. And for all you sex addicts out there, don’t feel bad, as our natural state is to pro create. The thing is, just be careful. There are so many broken relationships, and kids with no father or mother. So wrap em up boys and just know that consequences are real. The quick fix is exactly that..Sex is being exploited more than ever. Just respect your body and be well. Be healthy, as your body is your temple.

Much Love and Fun.

Ryan

SEX “and emotions”

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 I think in most cases women tend to be more emotionally attached when it comes to the topic of sex. I know that sex being purely biological in nature for the purpose of creating life, also brings immense love and affection when it’s shared with the right person. How many times do we hear men and women say “it was just sex”. Well in a lot of cases it is just sex. But usually it’s under the influence of alcohol and other mind stimuli that drives people to have a purely sexual relationship. In most cases when a relationship is based on purely physical desires it doesn’t last long before one of the individuals gets emotionally attached as well. Our bodies are beautiful pieces of art that are meant to be enjoyed through affection and love, and sex heading the list as a positive emotion can get “complicated” at times. Well it gets complicated only if we let it. 

Bring out the best in your relationship!

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 I’m really blessed, my parents have been married for over 40 years. My Dad was only 22 and my mom 20 when they got married. Well times have changed a lot since the baby boomer generation and it’ very apparent. Divorce rates are higher than ever and it’s sad to see and hear that a lot of marriages and relationships aren’t working like they used too. Over the past year especially I’ve been really aware of the ones that do work and why! First there’s a lot that goes into the whole attraction process in the first place. There’s the obvious physical connection which is purely biological. Then there’s patience for one another that needs to really be taken into consideration, it’s a must. You have to want to spend “quality” time with your partner.
 LOVE is also a big word that is probably the most over used word in the dictionary that isn’t used with intension and feeling! If you expect your relationship to work out and be long and fulfilling there needs to be unconditional LOVE and understanding. I see the people that are the most happy and fulfilled with their mate and  not only are they lovers but best friend as well. They bring out the very best in one another and support each other in all aspects of life. This is an important thing to consider before getting hitched in the first place. If you don’t bring out the very best in each other what’s the point? You can save a long process of upsetting time in your life if you just choose the right soulmate and don’t just settle. So many people get married for the wrong reasons, then it’s not only them that suffers but kids in a lot of cases as well.
 Everyone in life deserves to be happy! It’s unfortunate that along the way in the relationships that it’s always negative emotions that push one of the people involved away. Be it jealousy or just trying to change the person into someone he or she isn’t. I hear so many people say they feel like they are walking on eggs shells around their significant other, that’s not cool. People it’s my suggestion that you remember why you fell for that person in the first place everyday! Not every relationship is going to be exactly the way you want it, but it can get pretty darn close if the two of you are on the same level. It’s all about growth and communication, respect, loyalty and true LOVE!  My hat goes off to all the great relationships that work, I salute you! 
 It’s my desire for everyone to be happy and fulfilled emotionally and physically, it’s all available to everyone if we don’t force it. Look around you at the ones that work and take some mental notes as to why. It’s all about choices. And the choices we make are going to effect us no matter what, so make the ones that make sense and feel right. Use your intuition you are blessed with….
 BRING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER. -Ryan 
 

Judgement and Gossip

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If the world we live in could free itself of some of the judgements we place on people, world issues and religion, it would be an environment that we could feel more free to be our true selves. We’ve all been guilty of these traits at certain times in our lives and it’s usually when things aren’t going as we want them to be. Judgeing people on a surface level is very sad actually beacuse in doing so, we are actually mirrioring those same judgements within ourselves. Take me for an example, I have some fairly large tattoo’s, now at first glance without knowing what those tats represent an individual might assume me to be a certain way. I’ve had many people once they see what my tattoo’s represent which are love and happiness, say “wow Ryan your nothing like the person we percieved you to be when I first saw you.”
 Just imagine how many times some of us have passed judgement on others and in turn maybe missed a great chance to connect with someone really special. That’s why I find so many people have a guard or wall that they put up because they feel they have to project a certain image to society and our peers. When I was younger in my teens and into my late twenties I was always acting off trying to make an identity for myself. Alot of it had to do with materialism, such as having nice cars and expensive clothes. I felt it made me more of a man and more attractive to women if I showed my success on a surface level. I can’t dwell on the past but I was withholding from the world my true self, which is just a normal guy that desires love and great relationships with people. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more than ok to desire and have really nice material things in life that we can enjoy and share with others. But showing off and defining yourself through “things” is something that usually leaves a person in conflict with the true self. That’s the ego inside or inner voice that says we have to be a certain way to be accepted. 
 Gossip is pure poison, I try and catch myself everytime I feel the need to make a negitive coment about someone when their not around. Also when someone is talking about another they usually are disatisfied with their own lives so they feel the need to pick appart others. It’s important to see all people as constant works in progress. We all make so called mistakes, even the biggest stars that are in the public eye get ridiculed by the media and slammed for thier actions. In most cases we don’t even know the full story. Try focussing on being the best you can, and controling only your thoughts. If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone refrain and concentrate on the positive aspects of that person. I used to listen to a lot of gossip in my life and feed into it. Which in turn brought only more gossip into my life. Now I say ” can we not talk about others” If one of my friends or associates has something negitive to say about someone else. It’s the people that are talking poorly about others that you have to worry about the most. if they are making coments of a negitive nature about someone behind their back, what are they saying about you when your not around. It’s something we can all be concious about and in turn better our lives and the lives of everyone that comes into contact with us. 
We don’t know the reasons why people are acting a certain way. They could be sick or had a big fight with a spouse, maybe their kids are acting off and high emotions are making them really unhappy. So be easy on yourself and others and enjoy that which is good within, make an effort to not react and jugde and see the improovement unfold in your life. For all you parents out there it’s important to instill these values to our children, kids are like sponges and pick up on the traits of their parents. My daughter Sadie is a very special little girl, at the age of 12 she is seeing life in a whole new way. It’s very exciting to see her for the beautiful person she is inside and out. I have to give her mother Andi so much of the credit, as we don’t have the ideal situation. Andi and Sadie live thousands of miles away from me in Kansas. But we both love and care for our little angel more than anything in the world. We only want the best for her and it shows. She has awesome manners and loves everyone for who they are. I’m so proud of her and her mom. We can learn a lot from our kids as well. Life is fun, and it’s what we make of it.
 Peace Ry.

One Night Stands

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I´ve been in Ibiza Spain now for a week and I was very blessed to meet so many amazing people from all over the world, the vibe was awesome and it´s recognized as the biggest party destination in the world with music to die for. I felt very spiritually connected as the sound vibrations rushed through my being. One of the best dj´s I heard was at party at a supper club called Novum Ibiza. His name was Victor Simonelli. He´s from New York and he has amazing talent that really touched my inner spirit. The fact that I had some really great conversation with him and saw how much class he had made my respect for him multiply. Over the course of the week it was obviously apparent that sex was on the mind of the majority of people as well. How could this fact be denied with all the sexy house music and beautiful people on the island. If you were coming here for sex it was easily available.

 I was an on looker this time around and didn´t partake in any sexual encounters. In the past I´ve had my fair share of one night stands and I´m not coming down on people that partake in that experience. But my personal experience with the one night stand is usually one that left me feeling quite empty and awkward after the deed had been done! now there’s a lot of people that meet their soul mate that day or night and have the most amazing sexual experience where the connection is blossomed into a long term relationship or even marriage. For me I´ve found that in giving it some time after meeting a women is what makes it all worth while. Connecting on a soul level is something that I find both invigorating and powerful at the same time. So if any of my old hockey teamates are reading this, Yeah it´s the same Ryan I´ve just changed my views a bit. I actually get off on stimulating conversation and if that leads into physical escalation great, but as far as getting down and dirty I´m a ¨waiter¨ now.

I think it´s a special thing to respect your body and soul. And having a mutual respect for the opposite sex is gives you a better outlook on what´s to come. If the chemistry is there then by all means you folks have my blessings. But rushing into things and using someone for the moment and a quick orgasm could screw up the possibilities for something really special in the future. At the end of the day we are animals and we´re placed on this planet to pro create and make babies, it´s programed into our genetic code. It´s no secret that most one nighters happen on nights when booze and drugs are in the mix and the mind is distorted. I´ve found myself in situations in the past where I´ve woken up beside a girl the next morning fully knowing that we went all the way with all forms of clouded judgment in the way. Sex is a beautiful thing and one of the most powerful emotions known to man, but it´s meant to be felt. Theres nothing better than sex with someone you care about where both people know whats going on and can remember the great experience.

 I don´t know how many times I´ve heard it from male and female friends ¨I´m such an idiot, I slept with him or her¨ And then the fact is in most cases they never talk again. But hey if that’s what your into I´m only giving my opinion from years of experience. And if your going to get down, for heavens sake boys make sure you wrap up and be safe for the sake of both individuals. I´m just looking out for all you guys and want you to all love yourself. I know it´s tough boys when the head between your legs can be real loud and do a lot of talking. And the sad reality is that people like to run their mouths and talk. It sucks when you hear about people being labeled a ¨slut¨ or a ¨whore¨. So do what you feel is right in your heart and enjoy life and try and respect the beauty inside and out.

 All the very best in sex

 Ryan